Just in case you were hoping for a new wallpaper to dress up your desktop before the Tour’s kickoff, you can thank Team Astana for their newest series of official Alberto Contador victory crotchshots. Download them all today and relive the Spaniard’s sculpted groin every time your computer boots up.
[even more after the jump]
Continue reading ‘Dress Your Desktop in Team Astana Crotchshots’
PRESS RELEASE FROM THE OFFICE OF ALBERTO CONTADOR VELASCO:
6.28.09 (PINTO, MADRID) – There has been much confusion emanating from the international sporting press corps about the up coming 2009 Tour de France, and The Office of Alberto Contador Velasco (TOACV) would like very much an opportunity to set the record straight. Very simply, Alberto Contador, lead rider for UCI ProTeam Astana, will be the humble winner of the 96th running of the Tour de France, and will be accepting advanced congratulations and gifts at the address listed at the end of this release.
Contador has come off of a long season of training and preparations for this year’s Tour de France, and as leader of Team Astana, is excited to lead the other eight riders to victory on July 26th. Fresh off a Spanish national TT title, where he beat former Caisse d’Epargne rider (now TOACV staffer), Luis León Sánchez by 37 seconds, Contador is confident that he’ll be in the yellow jersey from the prologue — a short time trial in the streets of Monaco.
TOACV would also very much like to thank the American rider, Lance Armstrong, for his upcoming support of Contador through the Tour’s 21 stages, including 3 grueling mountain top finishes. Here is a picture taken in 2008 by the Telegraph of London, featuring Contador with Astana manager, Johan Bruyneel, and Armstrong.
Armstrong will make a fantastic domestique and addition to Team Astana, and may even be strong enough to win a second or third podium position.
[official TOACV video after the jump]
Continue reading ‘Alberto Contador Will Win Tour, Make Love to You’
If you actually read this blog, you’ve probably noticed the look changing a bit. I’m just trying to find a WordPress theme I feel comfortable in. We’ll probably continue to experiment until something blows me away — if you have any preferences, please leave it in the comments.
Versus has released their programming schedule for the Tour de France and, as has generally been true of years past, you’ll have to make a concerted effort to actually miss the race.
Much to the disappointment of hockey nuts and bull riding afficionados everywhere, Versus will turn into the Tour de France network come July 4th, with live coverage in the morning followed by race replays all day and extended primetime coverage in the evening — according to the network, it will average out to about 13 hours of Tour coverage each day… in HD, no less.
A sample day of coverage, taken from the official Versus television schedule:
Stage 13: Friday, July 17, 2009
Vittel – Colmar
8:30am to 11:30am: LIVE Daily Coverage
12:00pm to 2:00pm: Race Action Replay
2:30pm to 4:30pm: Race Action Replay
5:00pm to 7:00pm: Race Action Replay
8:00pm to 11:00pm: Expanded Primetime Coverage
12:00am to 3:00am: Race Action Replay
I don’t mean to complain, but really, Versus, how do you expect me to get any work done with a schedule like that?? At least the Cubs aren’t worth watching anymore, so that’ll free up a good 3 hours a day.
This comes in at an opportune time. I had just watched Who Killed the Electric Car, and was contemplating a rambling, incoherent response of told-you-sos and policy arguments directed to the American people, dropped into the vast nothingness of the internet. I was feeling a little abused under the man (1,2), and was going to start demanding things to soothe my populist rage.
Forget cars altogether — I wanted millions of dollars directed towards improvements to our cities and infrastructure to make them more bike friendly. You know, bike lanes, trails and facilties — all stuff to encourage trips by bike; maybe a even a modest tax credit? And that probably also would involve some sort of public relations/hearts-and-minds campaign. But we’d get bikes on the road, and we’d watch in awe and giddy amazement as the pounds dropped off the American public and our lungs cleared up. We would transform ourselves!
And then I laughed for what must have been a good half hour — the audacity! But don’t give up just yet — LightLane gives users a personal traveling bike lane, so you can sidestep your local government altogether.
[photo and video after the jump]
It’s officially ten days until the 96th Tour de France blasts off in Monaco, and things are strangely quiet. Even with national championships going on, there’s not much news hitting the wires; the best (and most cliche) way to describe it is as the calm before the storm. And you’d better believe it’s coming. The multitude of Lance-centric storylines in this year’s Tour (the “don’t-call-it-a” comeback, Lance vs. Levi vs. Alberto) will have every media outlet on the planet gushing over the stage results as if they actually watched it — have you ever seen cycling recaps on CNN, or the local news, for christ’s sake? Take this moment to mentally prepare yourself for all of the “So how’s Lance doing???” questions you’ll field in the next month.
Something to keep in mind: even a seven-time champion needs Lady Luck to win the Tour de France, and anything can happen over 2,000 miles (3,500 km) of racing. Lance will have his hands full dueling with longtime wingman Levi Leipheimer and ’07 champion Alberto Contador; meanwhile, strong contenders like defending champ Carlos Sastre and Denis Menchov will give the Texan a serious ride for his money. Expect fireworks, feuds and flameouts (not necessarily in that order). I wouldn’t count Sastre out of it.
I’ll be updating throughout the next ten days with a variety of pre-Tour stuff to get your appetite primed. Stay tuned.
A frank admission: I swore off mountain bikes years ago.
That may seem a tad severe, but I’ve had my heart broken, you see. I’ve spent a ton of money on mountain bikes, only to have them ganked or crippled (2.5 of them, so far) way before their time. And to be perfectly frank, we were never a good match. While I loved gliding over narrow singletrack with the forest whizzing past only inches away, every root and stump and rut seemed to leave me on my back, looking up at the canopy and wondering if I had finally managed to break something. Bunny hops, j-hops, wheelies, nose grabs, tyre spins and all other manner of dangerous sounding maneuvers perpetually eluded me on the trail (the common endo excluded). I looked absolutely ridiculous in the wild, and absolutely overdone in the city.
After my Gary Fisher’s fork was stolen — in broad daylight, no less — I promised myself that I would never go through the heartbreak again. Yeti’s AS-R Alloy proves just how easily we forget.
[More pics after the jump]
Valverde and Contador, seconds before a passionate kiss
Even though I’ve found myself in a bit of a post-Giro, pre-Tour funk, I pulled it together long enough to listen to Paul Liggett’s smooth baritone over the final stage of the 8-day Dauphine Libere (aired on Versus), a mountainous race run through parts of the French Alps that I have no chance in hell of pronouncing correctly.
After fighting off repeated attacks from Cadel Evans on the final climb of the race, the Col de Saint-Bernard du Touvet (see?), Spanish rider/alleged doper/likely douche Alejandro Valverde won his second straight Dauphine Libere, besting Evans and Alberto Contador, both contenders for the yellow jersey in a few weeks. He joins Lance Armstrong in the record books as the second rider to win the Dauphine Libere two years in row; this is also his sixth win of the season, including the Points and Mountains classifications at the Castilla y Leon (where Armstrong once again managed to steal the headlines).
The bad news is that Valverde likely won’t be able to challenge for the yellow jersey at the Tour, as the Italian Olympic Committee (CONI) recently slapped him with a two-year racing ban in Italy for doping, and the Tour de France finds itself in Italy for a mere 60 km during Stage 16 (he has appealed the decision, but there’s no word if it will be resolved before the start of the Tour). The good news is that he’ll have plenty of time to use his Iron Gym (GET BETTER COMMERCIALS, VERSUS) in preparation for the Vuelta in the fall.
[the winner's interview after the jump]
Continue reading ‘Valverde Wins 2nd Dauphine Libere, Sets TiVo for Tour’
Do you remember this guy?
old school Cannondale R300
It’s turned into one of my favorite bikes in the stable, and one of the many rides I’ve built upon the back of a little mail order/internet warehouse known as Bike Nashbar. And why not? As much as I love my LBS, saving money has always been a priority for this poor writer, and ordering online through Nashbar brought me both the best price and the most convenience on everything from seat posts to cassettes. Over the past 5 years, I’ve plausibly spent hundreds, if not close to thousands, on the website, and until now I’ve had no complaints whatsoever.
Did I mention, that is, until now?
[credit fraud after the jump]
Continue reading ‘Always A Great Ripoff (or: Why I Won’t Be Shopping at Nashbar Again)’
Even though we spent our Saturday evening enjoying 40 ounce bottles of a peculiar malt liquor known simply as Laser [hint: watch the video to discover why you've always hated UFC], I somehow followed through with my drunken threats to wake at 7:30 in the morning to watch the final time trial of the Giro d’Italia live.
Although Denis Menchov of the Rabobank squad was widely expected to win the Giro after his continual leashing of 2nd place rider Danilo Di Luca in the last week of the race — whenever Di Luca attacked in an attempt to shave Menchov’s 20-second advantage, Menchov remained on his rear wheel like a tick on a dog — international sporting events rarely go down that smoothly. And although it’s very possible that it was the leftover pepperoni rolls or the malted barley remnants, I had a feeling in my stomach that Di Luca might get the last laugh. It was the same feeling I had before Super Bowl XLII (Giants/Pats) and before 2007′s NCAA Football title game smackdown (Gators/Buckeyes), so I assumed the Italian still had a chance.
And thatwill be the last time I underestimate the Russians.
[what happened after the jump]
Continue reading ‘Denis Menchov: Cyclist. Giro Winner. Badass.’
What the Kids Are Saying