Are You There, God? It’s Us, Bikers.

Between the idiotic vitrol directed toward cyclists and a rapidly growing body count (Green Bay, Echo Park), it’s becoming obvious that could use a little help down here. Perhaps that’s why a recent NYC morning found over 100  cyclists waiting for some help from the man upstairs during a bike blessing ceremony at the Cathedral Church of St. John the Divine.

[God on a bike after the jump!]

Although you wouldn’t expect the Bible to have much to say about cycling — partly because the bicycle did not exist in the 6th century BC, and partly because it’s clearly a book for fans of walking — everyone’s favorite exile prophet Ezekiel kicks off his eponymous book with a vivid epileptic seizure vision from the Lord, in which four winged creatures with the face of an ox — and a lion, a eagle and a man? — appear out of a storm cloud with a lot of other cool special effects. The creatures apparently bring awesome new racing wheels with them [note: NIV translation]:

15 As I looked at the living creatures, I saw a wheel on the ground beside each creature with its four faces. 16 This was the appearance and structure of the wheels: They sparkled like chrysolite, and all four looked alike. Each appeared to be made like a wheel intersecting a wheel. 17 As they moved, they would go in any one of the four directions the creatures faced; the wheels did not turn about [d] as the creatures went. 18 Their rims were high and awesome, and all four rims were full of eyes all around.

When the living creatures moved, the wheels beside them moved; and when the living creatures rose from the ground, the wheels also rose. 20 Wherever the spirit would go, they would go, and the wheels would rise along with them, because the spirit of the living creatures was in the wheels. 21 When the creatures moved, they also moved; when the creatures stood still, they also stood still; and when the creatures rose from the ground, the wheels rose along with them, because the spirit of the living creatures was in the wheels.

He is sprinting; he is sprinting indeed!

[Bless the Cyclist, on Your Left!! – nytimes.com]


In my research on the connections between religion and cycling for this brief post, a Google search for the terms “God on a bike” (for blasphemous visual imagery, of course) resulted in this YouTube clip. At first you’d think, “who knew God was such a badass mountain biker?” but then it kind of makes sense, because, you know, he  lives on top of one.


4 Responses to “Are You There, God? It’s Us, Bikers.”

  1. 1 britt
    May 3, 2009 at 11:58 pm

    Wow. That youtube find was impressive! Big question — Do cyclists where cups? The cyclists that jump from building to building, that is? That man was crazy. I would feel less anxious if he did all of that in football uniform. Also, while watching, I came up with some really good ideas for a parody of this video. Call me tomorrow. 😉

  2. May 4, 2009 at 11:39 am

    Did you just say “where” instead of “wear”? BUSTED.

  3. 3 britt
    May 4, 2009 at 12:21 pm

    In my defense, dick squirrel, I only read your blog after giant glass of wine. Thanks for the call inquiring about my film ideas, nonetheless.

  4. 4 britt
    May 4, 2009 at 12:22 pm

    “A giant glass of wine”. Damn. I’m giving up.

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