Posts Tagged ‘talking goats


The Tour de France Goat Jersey Standings (as of Stage 15)

dagoatAs the Tour de France rests its weary bones before a final, brutal week of alpine stages and time trials, it’s time to take a look back at the riders that have thoroughly disappointed me thus far. Consider this Festivus come early.

Yes yes, there’s still a week of racing to go – I know this. There have been many a redemption story in the Tour’s history. But did you see Contador’s assault at Verbier? According to the latest press release from TOACV, the winner of the 2009 Tour is a given; so what better time than now to begin handing out points for the coveted maillot chèvre (roughly translated as “jersey of goats”)?

Cadel Evans, Silence-Lotto (200 points)

Cadel, what happened to you, man? Ever since winning the UCI ProTour in 2007 (over Alberto, no less) and placing second in the 2007 and 2008 editions of the Tour de France, it’s been all downhill for you. Everybody — everybody — had you on the list of contenders for this year’s running, but after a disasterous TTT; a ridiculous, ill-timed attack in the 8th stage that was doomed to fail (“It turned out to be a big waste of energy,” you said afterwards); and your failure to make up any time on the first day of the Alps, you’ve been reduced to throwing pity parties attended by the international sporting press, always hungry for self-destructing athletes (“I’m so far behind in the GC that I didn’t think anyone would show up today,” you told reporters coming to visit you on the rest day).

So, congrats, Cadel! You probably won’t get anywhere close to the podium in Paris, but the maillot chèvre is firmly yours (for now; you might lose this one too).

[the rest of the goats after the jump]

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